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  • Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

  • Can I get your coat = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

  • Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

  • Do you want to go out to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

  • Good morning = That was great sex...let's have more.

  • I love you = Let's have sex now.

  • I love you too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now.

  • I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

  • I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

  • I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

  • I'm tired = I'm tired.

  • I've gotta pee = Get out of my way!

  • Let me get your door = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

  • Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep and caring person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

  • Nice dress = Nice cleavage.

  • See you later = That was great sex... let's have more.

  • What's wrong = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

  • What's wrong = I guess sex is out of the question.

  • Will you marry me = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

  • Will you marry me = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

  • Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 shot to hell and it doesn't look at all different.

  • Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = For $50 I could do better than that.

  • Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

  • You look tense, let me give you a message = I want to fondle you.

What men really mean when they are shopping:

  • I don't think that blouse and that skirt go together = I am gay

  • I like that one better = Pick any fucking dress and let's go home!

  • That one looks great on you = Pick any fucking dress and let's go home!

  • Uhuh = Pick any fucking dress and let's go home

  • Yes, that one's nice= Why do you ask me when you aren't going to listen to me anyway?

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